Turning into Autumn

This week was busy, and I haven’t had as much time alone to feel melancholy and homesick. Being out in the world again, watching the seasons change, I’m starting to appreciate the incredible beauty here, the people and the landscapes. The trees are beginning to turn, some the most startling red I’ve ever seen. When the sun is out the colors brighten. The grass and trees appear so vibrant in contrast with the blue sky. Even when it rains, everything smells so clean and fresh, even though the colors are muted and gray. Being out and about more this week, I ended up having to use an umbrella (new for me), and although I was skeptical at first, I ended up loving my time alone, protected beneath the canopy, listening to the sound the rain made on the nylon, and splashing through puddles. I love the autumn décor: the pumpkins, squash, mums, apples and cinnamon. Everything is orange, red, yellow, green.

A tree on campus just turning

I love talking to the locals whether on the train, stores, or in small towns and the city. I love how they warm up and their eyes sparkle when I ask them about home- Boston, the north shore, and then their recommendations (I’m making a list). I think the sparkle and warmth originate from a beautiful kind of pride and rich history that they own.  I love the unique way they talk, the funny adjectives they use, and even having to apologize and ask them to repeat what they said three times because they spoke either  too fast the first two times or with too strong an accent. Sometimes I ask more questions and appear more interested just to listen to them talk. 

Walking in Chebacco Woods just a
couple miles away

"For as God is infinitely the greatest Being, so he is allowed to be infinitely the most beautiful and excellent: and all the beauty to be found throughout the whole creation is but the reflection of the diffused beams of that Being who with an infinite fullness of brightness and glory; God...is the foundation and fountain of all being and all beauty." Jonathan Edwards

What To Do With These Pesky Emotions

I don’t value emotion as much as logic.

I especially don’t value negative emotions like sadness, anger, loneliness, hurt, and fear

I’m not as logical as I want to think I am.

Can these emotions I’ve described as “negative” ever be good? Grief is normal and healthy right? That’s not a “good” emotion. Even as I’m classifying emotions as either negative or positive, I think I’m missing something kind of big. I am trying to logically explain something that I don’t think is logical. Emotions seem to have a mind of their own. Sometimes they don’t seem to come as a result of something good or bad they just come out of us, like the stomach flu.  Which leads me to my next thought: maybe emotions can be easily explained away scientifically, like hormones, or what I ate, or how much I slept, or my gender because I think we can all agree that those things at the very least play a role. To my husband, emotions are a choice, something that can be fixed or changed.  I don’t think I agree, but I’m working it out.

Either way, explainable or not, I don’t want to have those emotions. I prefer being in control. I would rather be strong, reasonable and logical. Today negative emotions won. I was drowning in them. I was not logical or reasonable, and even when I tried to be I just couldn’t. I could only feel and I needed time to just feel for a while before my brain would work again. Yuck. Right now I think I’m treading water, keeping my head up, making sense of it. But I’m not that great of a swimmer and those pesky feelings seem to pull me down when I least expect it. Somewhere inside me maybe they still exist, maybe I’m just fooling myself.

But why do I think they’re bad?

David was emotional. Check this out: “I cry aloud to the Lord; I plead aloud to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; I reveal my trouble to Him. Although my spirit is weak within me, You know my way….no one cares about me. I cry to You, Lord; I say, ‘You are my shelter, my portion in the land of the living.’ Listen to my cry, for I am very weak” Psalm 142

Here’s something God gave me today as I was feeling and thinking and asking God to please help me make sense of it.

Paul said, “we rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” 

Romans 5:3-5

Rejoice in our afflictions.

Afflictions=endurance=character=hope

Hope.

Hope is a “good” emotion; and affliction, although by my classification is “bad”, leads to hope. According to Paul, this isn’t just any kind of hope, but a hope that will not disappoint. I still can’t really make sense of it all, but I feel like maybe I’m starting to.

The North Shore, Massachusetts: Perspectives from a newly transplanted Pacific Northwesterner

People here are not cold and distant. They are, however, very helpful, sometimes overly helpful, loud, talk way too fast, and love to help and share information (that is, when it’s their idea, don’t ask for any favors)

The town next to us was founded in 1629. I love the history. Old white churches, huge, old mansions

Proud

Patriotic

I drove through one town where the street lines were painted red, white, and blue.

Our new home on campus

The Atlantic Ocean

Orchards and Farms

Customer service? What’s that?

Pronunciations of towns: Worcester=Woosta, Woburn=Woobun, Gloucester=Glawsta, Peabody=Peebidy

Pineapples on front doors and signs= colonial symbol of welcome, good cheer, warmth. (I had to ask)

Roast beef and Seafood; Roast beef and pizza; Roast beef and subs; Roast beef and…you get the idea. 

Nick’s Famous Roast beef, Mikey’s Famous Roast beef, Bill and Bob’s Roast beef, Giovanni’s Roast beef, Kelly’s Famous Roast beef-just to name a few.

Grocery carts are called carriages

Most grocery and convenient stores do not sell wine or beer

You have to pay (a lot) for parking to go to the beach

Library passes are wicked cool-you can get free access to parking at parks and free or discounted passes to 

museums and local attractions

Yes, I said “wicked cool”

Dunkin’ Donuts on every corner

Yummy yummy seafood

No roads run east to west, just in circles

So many trees I have no idea where I am or where I’m going…

Watch out for horses on the road and polo players

Snapping turtles and turkeys are dangerous, especially for toddlers.

“Those turtles can snap your finger right off”

Rockport, MA on my birthday